To Hell with All That

February 27, 2006
Flanagan's take on why modern mothers are conflicted about their roles is so witty and well researched—she quotes sources ranging from Queen Elizabeth's childhood nanny to Total Woman Marabel Morgan—that it's easy to overlook that she offers no evidence to back up her chief notion "that women have a deeply felt emotional connection to housekeeping." Coming from someone who admits she doesn't change her sheets or clean her house (the maid does it), it's hard to take this assertion seriously. But then, while Flanagan is a staff writer for the New Yorker
and a regular essayist for the Atlantic
, she's more a polemicist here than journalist. The problem is her self-contradictions. Flanagan is fed up with what she sees as self-indulgent upper-middle-class mommies (like herself and unlike her mother's generation) who have elevated motherhood at the expense of housekeeping, which she sees as a lost art. Yet she goes into great and fascinating detail about her relationship with the nanny she hired after giving birth to twins. Flanagan is particularly disdainful of feminists who "imposed" a narrative of oppression on women. The author claims she's not a cook, but in her debut book she proves herself to be one heck of a pot-stirrer.

May 1, 2006
Flanagan, a staff writer for "The New Yorker" has hit on many of the most important issues facing women today. Her merit is not that she has anything really new to say, but that she says it well. In ten thematic chapters, some new and many reworked from her magazine pieces, she covers everything from virgin white weddings and sexless marriages to dreaded housekeeping tasks and raising -executive - children. Interspersed throughout are references to classic woman-at-home books, including Marabel Morgan -s "The Total Woman" and Erma Bombeck -s writings. According to Flanagan, a sort of present-day version of Bombeck, modern women seek -the privileges and niceties of traditional womanhood - while -buck[ing] the obligations and restraints that gave those privileges meaning. - Indeed, she concentrates on the many similarities between modern women and Fifties housewives. Beginning and ending with life after her mother -s death, Flanagan presents her childhood memories alongside contemporary topics applicable to all women. An enjoyable read, it is recommended for all libraries.[See Prepub Alert, "LJ"12/05.]" -Nicole Mitchell, Birmingham, AL"

Copyright 2006 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

April 15, 2006
A true wit providing tons of gentle "aha!" moments, " New Yorker" writer Flanagan has outdone herself and is sure to evoke smiles and tears from her readers. This series of stories is as old as our humanity: the push-pull between the privileges of womanhood versus the power of masculinity. The remedy is the logical sequence of life events, beginning with the wedding--"A place setting of Lennox is, after all, a liquid asset"--and punctuated by Flanagan's cogent observations. Every rumination is, in fact, a microcosm of today's headlines and self-help books. Is sleep, as Dr. Phil asserts, the new sex? Are nannies all that necessary to the raising of a professional woman's children? And at what time, during what event, does a woman truly recognize the reality of all her various roles, whether mother, wife, or aunt? An insightful, incisive look at the multiple demands on American women in the new millennium.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2006, American Library Association.)